... to Saddam's 'Mother of All Wars' Engineering Works. Now that's what I call an armament factory with a proper name - not like BAE systems etc Incidentally there have been complaints that the Iraqis are being too helpful - such as opening the gates of inspection sites - having the managers there to greet the inspectors - and even having tea Continue Reading

Listening to the online radio - the BBC 4 programme 'the News Quiz' . You can hear repeats - good British satire - but you have to know British news. Well the sound was very quiet. Checked the sound software - pushed sounds of to maximum - played around with balance - CD balance - WAV controls - MIDI balance - no real change except sound only Continue Reading

... that is paying me a pittance for my car - are telling me that I have to send them all the documents - that I have already sent them - and with which they already needed to process the claim - again. I can't because you have them and I do not - can you send them back to me - so that I can send them to you again ... ... and with that the line Continue Reading

... destroying 'Have I Got News For You'. After the sacking of Angus Deayton (Deaton) in a knee jerk reaction because said Angus had sex - calm down here Pau - with consenting females and was alleged to have snorted - stuff - totally unproven - and the allegees made lots of money selling the story - the story is impossible to prove - or not to Continue Reading

One benefit of having my car stolen is that I have to walk more. I actually walked a whole mile to have my hair cut - more of a search, find and bring back the missing hairs mission. The baber is nice and tradional - he doesn't talk much - and hides as much as he can of the bald patch when showing me the back with his mirror. As a result I have Continue Reading

You should have stopped at the last bus stop. No I shouldn't - you should have rung the bell. Buses should always stop at designated bus stops. No they shouldn't. You *&£!ing b*stard. Don't you talk to me like that. Bus stops - woman gets off - and screams something else as bus moves off. Oh the joy of public transport. and the bell on Continue Reading

... remember me - my car was stolen? ... and you told me it was only worth - which is not enough to buy a replacement car - well one where I won't be absolutely ripped off - as your guy said - independent dealers are a bit riskier - and a seven year old car in good condition - well that's rare - and there was not an equivalent car on the Continue Reading

Well she is on a diet - she is going to Weight Watchers tomorrow - she is concerend about her figure. She did go out last night -and - there wasn't much on the TV. And there were only two slices - I thought I was being helpful - helping her avoid temptation - helping tidy the kitchen. But... ... she didn't seem to appreciate my support - and Continue Reading

See this image in the current edition of Private Eye taken from our 'No Need to Boast' article in the archives. Link: Private Eye web site Continue Reading

I actually agree that some modernisation of the fire service is reasonable. It seems to me ridiculous that the fire brigade should have a separate control from the police and ambulance service. There probably are more efficient ways of organising shifts. However 78% of the budget goes on personnel - and I get the impression that fire engines and Continue Reading