. This afternoon play was a cross between the lighter parts of 'Trainspotting' crossed with Del Boy - with a touch of 'The Plank' - with the damaged shopping bag - and about 2 minutes of 'The Office' meet 'The Sweeney' + a happy ending - for the two nice characters. Based on what looks like the same estate as 'Only Fools and Horses' - the play Continue Reading

When you're happy and you know it, bomb Iraq If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq If the terrorists are frisky Pakistan looks shifty North Korea is far too risky Bomb Iraq Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq For our might knows no borders, bomb Iraq Disagee, We'll call it treason Let's make war not love this season Even if we have no Continue Reading

that's the last time we do it at your place She was only an undertaker's daughter, but she'd always bury a stiff. She was only the captain's daughter, but her naval base was full of seamen. She was only a road layer's daughter, but she liked her asphalt. She was only a farmer's daughter, but she'd lie under any old sod. She was only a Continue Reading

In a lecture I attended on 'ethical issues' in social research - our lecturer - told us about a young student - keen on dh lawrence - decided to write a dissertation on 'the influence of literature on the sexuality on women in mining villages' - or some such significant project. His methodology consisted of - er - yes - going door to door - Continue Reading

I got the most significant male-ist men- ist masclinist - well - male orientated book - since - well -ever. Men and sheds - quite simply is a book about men and their sheds. It shows how a variety of men use their shed to build things - develop their own things - but more importantly - it gives them space - to be themselves. None of this crap Continue Reading

In the Spanish Civil War the anarcist painter Laurencic created a number of surreal prison cells. Beds were placed at a 20 &deg angle making it impossible to get a night's sleep. Walls were angled and blocks placed on the floor so that it was impossible to walk, the bench in the cell tilted so that you fell to the floor. However probably the Continue Reading

The ten minute quick fix and slight update - has taken over three hours. I didn't realise that the Blogger.com system wasn't working properly - and so the reason my updates weren't working - was nothing to do with me. So unfortunately I have rewritten bits of my system - redone the template a few times - tried to post to other sites - etc etc - Continue Reading

This will be the new improved 'the Odtaa Files' with the mystery ingredient X - which will give you you everything the spam mailers promise you - a better sex life - health - wealth - educational diplomas galore - and without once HAVING TO TYPE IN CAPITALS - or join a pyramid selling scam - (I got caught on one these once and now own substantial Continue Reading

beep beep I have finally worked out why we British do not seem to be able to buy things that work for our military. You know Apache helicopters which fire missiles that blow the tail off - its a good job we forgot we needed pilots to fly the things - our existing transport helicopters and tanks - work fine - except in desert - we have guns - that Continue Reading

The temperature is 0 Centigrade - and in London it has snowed. Help - I'm trapped in a building and unable to get out - as the trains don't work - the buses don't come - and the 12 year old rough boys might throw snow balls at me. And today we have sun and snow - and melting - and slush - and I still haven't got new shoes - and the water comes in Continue Reading