Knock Knock Who's there? The Post-modernists The Post-modernists who? Stop messing about and let us in. Continue Reading

How many post - modernists does it take to change a light bulb? One Continue Reading

The government talks a lot about addiction to crack cocaine and heroin - but I have never seen anyone write about - the addictive substances - known by their street name - 'Bassetts Liquorice Allsorts'. Pushed by a gang - headed by a master criminal Bertie - these innocent packages - of what look like - ordinary bag of sweets - are highly Continue Reading

So someone came up with the idea of having a national police force. So the Chief Police Officers design a nice blue uniform. So we give the nice blue uniform to the police. And guess what? - well what? - tell me - it does not keep you warm. So different areas have gone back to their old uniforms - that did work in cold weather. So - if the Continue Reading

There was a programme on TV - in the format of a trial - debating whether America was morally right to use the first strike against Iraq. About half the audience was flown in from St Louis. The final result was that 56% of the British audience felt that America was morally wrong to use first strike - ie attack Iraq - against 44% who felt that Continue Reading

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can't do Continue Reading

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to the sad bloke - who seems to be a student in Michigan - STOP SENDING VIRUSES - to me. You've wasted quite a bit of my time - big deal - and you've made me reorganise my system for receiving emails - thank you - you've helped me improve the system - I've now moved over to Eurdora - which is an improvement on Outlook - although the support is Continue Reading

So another chapter in the Carole Caplin/Cherie Blair saga. The ten day fly on the wall documentary - The Conman, His Lover and the Prime Minister's Wife - shown on BBC TV last night - made spectacular viewing - erm - compared to paint drying - or a 1970s Open University programme on higher maths being shown at three in the morning. I have the Continue Reading

Finally had my liver ultrasounded yesterday - a mere five weeks - after my doctor sent me for them. I only have to wait another week or so for the result - but as there is some shiny areas - I will have to have a liver biopsy - which means the medical dart champion - hits me on the side with a pointy thing - which will certainly have a Latin name Continue Reading