Category Archives: The Standup I Never Did

Yo honkey White middle class 'The wire speak' (slightly rude)

Posted on April 20, 2009 by odtaa

The Wire has started me talking differerently. ‘Yo honkey’ to white friends. Matercopulater means person – can be acknowledgement or hostile. me motor – father’s car G&T – mind altering drugs me posse – the boys down at the cricket … Continue reading →

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excuse me saint george

Posted on April 23, 2003 by odtaa

(Whispered aside) Be careful he’s armed. Excuse me Sir Yes constable Could you explain to me what you’re doing? I’ve come here to save yon maiden from ye dragonne Which – erm – maiden – would that be Sir. Whye … Continue reading →

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attention FISH VIRUS alert

Posted on April 1, 2003 by odtaa

Syndicat d’ Nationale Kalorique – Avril 1, 2003 eip infected motherboard URGENT FISH VIRUS ALERT Syndicat d’ Nationale Kalorique (S d’NK) the leading French Montpelier based research company developing the radical ‘electronic induced perfumery’ technology – eip – has announced … Continue reading →

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… a mature start to 2003

Posted on January 5, 2003 by odtaa

… the Odtaa Files will be more mature in the year 2003. We plan to bring you serious thought – life improving suggestions – helping you to focus on your long term goals – encouraging self development and … So … Continue reading →

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so this young policeman

Posted on December 5, 2002 by odtaa

… and a sergeant carrying a clip board were walking down the road. Oi – you – the young policeman said. What me? – I asked Yes – you’re coming with me. But … He grabbed hold of me by … Continue reading →

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the local bra shop

Posted on November 16, 2002 by odtaa

… has been closed for over three months now. I suggested it had gone bust. My wife was not amused.

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I want to be a lesbian

Posted on October 10, 2002 by odtaa

Hello is that the gay and lesbian switchboard? Yes I want to join. Sorry. I want to join. What do you want to join. I want to sign up as a lesbian. (suspicious) Sign up as a lesbian? Yes Erm. … Continue reading →

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