I’ve started going back to the gym – well when I say go back – I mean – I was there in January – once – and I did do the – this is how to torture yourself on our machines – initiation course – but that was back – erm – oh – erm – that many years ago.
So I’ve started going to the gym – and it is full of machines – that hurt you – and its boring – and – as this gym is cheap – all the beautiful people – go to the other gyms – there again – would the beautiful people want to watch me grunt and groan – and anyway – I don’t look good in Lyra – and my shape don’t look good – in any designer gear – so – I’ll stick to the stuff – I bought years ago – which were a disappointment – as buying them – did not make me fitter.
Anyway I survived – and then wanted to go to the pool – but in the changing room – there was suddenly hordes – of school children – SHOUTING – and – SCREAMING – and – BANGING THE METAL DOORS. Panicking I thought my way through and locked myself into a changing cubicle.
In the pool – it was full of fit – old people – in a quarter of the pool – and SCREAMING – kids in the rest. I swam my slow length – being thumped by superpensioner and accidently bumped into by a woman swimming backwards – I am not that kind of guy – madam – restrain yourself.
I’ll be back – as Arnie says.